With the continuous messages we receive from the media and society, it may be difficult to learn to accept and love ourselves as we are. We can become hyper-focused on our flaws and neglect to appreciate and love ourselves despite our imperfections. As society is reflecting an ideal image we naturally find ourselves comparing ourselves unfavorably and judging ourselves with arbitrary labels that make us feel inferior and bad about ourselves.
You may be wondering: “How do I learn to love myself despite all the messages I am receiving about who I should be?” Six steps in cultivating self-love will be offered below:
6 Steps In Cultivating Self-Love:
- Let go of judgment, and appreciate the beauty within you. – Judging yourself is different from being honest with yourself. “When it comes to living as a compassionate, non-judgmental human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, is learning to walk a lifetime comfortably in your own. In every smile there is beauty. In every heart there is love. In every mind there is wisdom. In every human being there is a soul, there is life, there is worth, and there is the ability to see all these things in everyone, including one’s self.” (Positive Thoughts).
- “The Reverse Golden Rule”: Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. – Learn to accept yourself! Insecurity is what is internally and externally unattractive, not you. Be you, as you are, in the loving way only you know how. Operating from a place of love is beautiful. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. It will be difficult for others to love you, if you do not love yourself. And when you are truly self-accepting and comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, and you will not be negatively impacted by that.
- Focus on your own self-acceptance rather than the acceptance of others. – Do not lose yourself in your search for acceptance and validation by others. You live by your own personal standards and values. You are accountable to yourself first before anyone else. Hence, your opinion should matter most. When you adhere to your own beliefs and values you are accepting and validating yourself which allows you to cultivate self-love. Be cognizant that you will not always receive everyone’s approval. This is part of life and about learning to accept and love yourself despite those differences. You are good enough the way you are. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Care more about whether you are meeting your own standards and values rather than those of others.
- Know your self-worth. – You are worthy of all abundance: health, happiness, love, respect, peace, joy and prosperity. If the behavior of others does not reflect your own self-worth and you are not treated in a kind and loving way, that person is not in a healthy place to be a part of your life. Detach in peace and love and pursue kinship and relationship with those who mirror your same values.
- Don’t rush intimate relationships. – Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or being pretentious. It is about being with a person who makes you happy and enriches your life and inspires you to be the best version of your true and authentic self. You do not need to find perfection, you need someone who is trustworthy mentally, emotionally and physically. Take your time to find the right fit. There is someone who will love you unconditionally, even if it is not the person you were initially hoping for.
- Let go of those who are not really there. – There are certain people who are not meant to fit into your life no matter how much you want them to. And the only ones truly worthy of your love are the ones who stand with you through the hard times and laugh with you after the hard times pass. Walking away from unhealthy relationships frees you to start fresh with a better relationship.
I am committed to providing the highest quality of care and maintain a deep desire to facilitate personal transformation that allows individuals to live whole-heartedly. My desire is that individuals live a life embodied with peace, joy, love, and prosperity. I hope to accomplish my purpose, which is to help you live your dream of realizing your fullest potential in a personal and meaningful manner that allows you to live the life you want.
A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to help promote education. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com. ACT serves the Del Mar 92014 and Rancho Santa Fe 92067 area.