Relationships go through cycles. Certain points of our relationships may be better than others. Every relationship experiences their ups and downs. Nevertheless, it is important to recognize those times in which the relationship may need a tune-up. Three relationship signs will be reviewed that give us clues that our relationship needs improvement.
Sign #1 – A couple is sexually on different planes.
Sexual health is extremely important in a relationship. A sexual life with one’s partner may wax and wane. There may be a number of reasons why this happens. Oftentimes in couples counseling, couples struggle with their sexual relationship when their emotional intimacy is also suffering. The desire to connect sexually may lessen when problems and resentments build. Having an authentic and safe dialogue is important if you notice that the sex is declining in quality. Be compassionate with one another when discussing this sensitive topic.
Sign #2 – You are picking fights out of small issues.
When individuals make mountains out of molehills; this is a sign that the relationship is off balance. When small areas become big problems there is something greater going on in the relationship. A great illustration is when couples cannot remember what they were fighting about or they mention that they were fighting about something small all of a sudden becomes enormous. This is a sign that there is a deeper underlying issue between the two of you and small situations are moments where the frustration, anger, pain and resentment is being highlighted. It’s important to uncover why these small areas are triggers for arguments and have a loving conversation about how to move forward and find peace with these areas.
Sign #3 – You feel the need to change to make your partner happy.
As humans that live in social networks we are naturally influenced by those around us. However, even in the context of all the relationships we have, it is imperative that we stay true to who we are and have a solid sense of self. If we change at the core of who we are to make someone else be happy, we will never be happy ourselves. We can only enrich another person’s life when we enrich our own and exude that love and compassion to others. To love another we must love ourselves. If there is a discrepancy between who we want to be and who we are we can work to bridge that gap.
When issues arise in a relationship, it is not necessarily a sign to exit. However, it can be a sign that individual and relational growth needs to happen. However, one partner cannot work on the relationship themselves. Be responsible for the changes you need to make and see how the relationship shifts. Once we are engaging in healthy behaviors then we can make an objective and loving evaluation of the relationship. Continue to work on personal growth and as you do, the relationships in your life are more likely to flourish. Learn from your relationships and allow them to be your greatest teacher of the person you want to be.
I am committed to providing the highest quality of care and maintain a deep desire to facilitate personal transformation that allows individuals to live whole-heartedly. My desire is that individuals live a life embodied with peace, joy, love, and prosperity. I hope to accomplish my purpose, which is to help you live your dream of realizing your fullest potential in a personal and meaningful manner that allows you to live the life you want.
A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to help promote education. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com. ACT serves the Del Mar 92014 and Rancho Santa Fe 92067 area.