Being nice and being kind may be used interchangeably. As personal characteristics, they stem from very different places within an individual. Mental professionals see perceive kindness as being a healthier attribute for individuals. In contrast to niceness, kindness emerges from someone who is secure, self-confident, compassionate and comfortable with themselves. A kind person is loving and gives to others out of the goodness of their heart.
At the root of extreme niceness, however, are feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. There is a deep desire and need to receive approval and validation from others. Overly-nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves. A strong sense of self-worth is often missing and trying to be filled by the approval, acceptance and validation of others.
Genuinely kind people are giving because it is in their value system to care. Given that they lack ulterior motives, they are not concerned or occupied with thoughts of whether or not other people like or approve of them. Kind individuals have healthy boundaries and assert those boundaries without guilt.
Nice individuals relinquish their boundaries and taking care of themselves to please and appease others because they are not loving themselves enough to set healthy boundaries. They feel obligated to neglect their own needs because their needs are not important enough. They deal with potential conflicts by placating the other person because they cannot bear to have anyone upset with them. They avoid conflict at all costs and find themselves unhappy because they continue to sacrifice their own personal needs and their sense of self as a result.
Kind people have good self-esteem and because they love themselves as much as they care about others, they expect to be treated with respect. Nice people desperately desire and seek approval, so they are often mistreated or taken advantage of. Nice people tend to do too much for those who do not deserve it and are easy prey for users. They get into co-dependent relationships in which they care-take others in the hopes of eventually being cared for themselves.
I am committed to providing the highest quality of care and maintain a deep desire to facilitate personal transformation that allows individuals to live whole-heartedly. My desire is that individuals live a life embodied with peace, joy, love, and prosperity. I hope to accomplish my purpose, which is to help you live your dream of realizing your fullest potential in a personal and meaningful manner that allows you to live the life you want.
A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to help promote education. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com. ACT serves the Del Mar 92014 and Rancho Santa Fe 92067 area.