Although uncomfortable, it is imperative to set healthy boundaries with negative or draining people. The more we practice this vital skill the easier it becomes to implement. If someone has unrealistic expectations of you or unable to respect your boundaries; remember “No” is a valid response. The key to setting boundaries is to assert them when you are centered, detached emotionally and responsive rather than reactive. For instance, set your limits and disengage rather than argue about your boundaries.
Dealing with an Emotional Vampire
If you interact with a person and your energy dissipates, immediately and politely disengage from the draining exchange. For example you could use the following: “Excuse me; I have something to attend to.” It is important that you move at least twenty feet from the person. Whenever your well-being is reduced around particular people, make a tactful and nimble exit.
Dealing with a Constant Talker
The key ingredient to dealing with a constant talker is knowing they do not respond to nonverbal cues. You must express your needs vocally. Tone is especially critical with these individuals. They are hypersensitive to rejection, which provokes them to ramp up their verbiage.
Dealing with a Controlling Individual
If a person is giving you unsolicited advice, politely say, “I value your advice and I really want to work through this myself.” Repetition is key. Respectfully reiterating your stance over days or weeks will slowly recondition negative communication patterns and redefine the terms of the relationship. If you reach an impasse, agree to disagree. Then make the subject off limits.
Dealing with a Critical Individual
The moment you sense criticism, take a slow, deep breath to center yourself. Remind yourself you know what is happening, and you can handle it. Operate from an empowered place where you define yourself rather than internalize another person’s narrative.
I am committed to providing the highest quality of care and maintain a deep desire to facilitate personal transformation that allows individuals to live whole-heartedly. My desire is that individuals live a life embodied with peace, joy, love, and prosperity. I hope to accomplish my purpose, which is to help you live your dream of realizing your fullest potential in a personal and meaningful manner that allows you to live the life you want.
A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to help promote education. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com. ACT serves the Del Mar 92014 and Rancho Santa Fe 92067 area.