Relationships have been an area of interest since the beginning of man. While poets, artists and musicians have tried to capture the essence of relationships; understanding what creates loving and sustaining relationships has not gained public awareness. Our templates for what a relationship should entail can come from our personal experiences within our own families or by what the media portrays which is largely inaccurate and built upon a fantasy. Psychology has studied the phenomenon of relationships and provides suggestions on how to cultivate the loving relationships we can thrive in.
1. Create a vision of what you want your relationships to be. Make a list of the people who are most important to you and then write a few statements next to each name about how you ideally would desire that relationship to be.
2. Be encouraging and supportive of others in your life. Ask yourself, “Who can I support and/or encourage today, and in what way? Emotional support can be extremely powerful and transformative. Knowing we have someone that is in our corner gives us the strength, courage and will to make positive changes.
3. Demonstrate affection. Our core human needs is the need to be loved and accepted. Demonstrate to the people in your life that they are loved and accepted by you. Love can be manifested in various ways such as: by giving words of affirmation, performing acts of service, giving gifts, spending quality time and, of course, providing physical touch.
4. Don’t take things personally. Most of how people respond to us is not a result of what we have done. Rather their behaviors are a result of their own perceptions or reality. When individuals are kind or hurtful it is because this is their understanding of how to relate to others.
5. Don’t make assumptions. Assumptions tend to be inaccurate. Rather than assume, ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and unnecessary drama.
6. Express gratitude. Tell others what you appreciate about them and how they have contributed positively to your life. This builds closeness.
7. Accept & give no abuse. Are all of your relationships healthy? Where might you need to place boundaries? Where might you be using someone else in unhealthy ways, judging someone else too harshly, putting conditions on a relationship, etc? When you have healthy boundaries for yourself, others are also likely to respect and value you in the same fashion. To receive love you must learn to love yourself.
I am committed to providing the highest quality of care and maintain a deep desire to facilitate personal transformation that allows individuals to live whole-heartedly. My desire is that individuals live a life embodied with peace, joy, love, and prosperity. I hope to accomplish my purpose, which is to help you live your dream of realizing your fullest potential in a personal and meaningful manner that allows you to live the life you want.
A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to help promote education. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com. ACT serves the Del Mar 92014 and Rancho Santa Fe 92067 area.
